1. |
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You can crack an egg and leave it uncooked in the pan but don't tell me it's an omelette
You can give me $50 in ones with some pocket lint but don't tell me it's my whole paycheck
You can take some sugar and put it in a bag and sell it to an underage punk kid but don't tell me it was coke
We can add some shitty solos and look up words in a thesaurus but don't tell me that's how good songs work
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2. |
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I had a dream last night
Where Battle Arena Toshinden was a 3DO exclusive
I had a dream just last night
Where I had bottomless pockets and moneyhatted Resident Evil 1 as a 3DO Exclusive
I had a dream last night
Where the M2 actually came out the launch titles were as followed
D2, that F1 game, Clay Fighter, Policenauts dubbed in English and Mortal Kombat Trilogy
Some stuff just aren't meant to be
No matter how much money you have to throw at things
And eventually we all have to give up and take our leave
And go off to chase some other dreams
I had a dream last night
Where Doctor Hauzer 2 was totally a thing
Guardian War became a franchise and Naughty Dog wound up making Way of the Warrior sequels forever
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3. |
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There's vomit on my pants and I don't want to be here
I don't fit in
And I'll never fucking fit in
And I don't really care
I never wanted to be a rock star
Because they're all fucking cocks and I don't care, I don't care
Don't want a selfie with a bored-looking crowd to circlejerk myself
Or brag about opening for some washed up nu metal group
Someone stab me if I write sociopathic love songs to try and pick up girls
Fu-uu-uu-uu-uuuck everything
What happened to having fun and being entertaining to other people
Instead of being a piss-poor souless version of things that've happened already?
Your band is to your favorite band what My Immortal is to Harry Potter
Somedays I wake up and wish I hadn't woke up
I have to go on stage now and they really want me sober
Why in the fuck would they get an act like me to play Spring Break
It's more fun to yell ridiculous shit with an acoustic guitar
And I know it'll never get me far
But I don't fucking care at all
Gross gross gross gross gross
I'm hungover, having a gallbladder attack, and want to go home
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4. |
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Moeblob bullshit
Voice acting that sounds like it was read from the page
And bad dubtitles
Please buy 3 episodes on one DVD for $40
It's a bargain
This plot will go nowhere
And there will not be an ending
The animators ran out of money and got lazy in the 2nd half of the series
And we're being forced to put this out by the Japanese licensor
Because they packaged this and Schoolgirl Milky Crisis together
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5. |
White Guys Having Fun
01:50
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Hanging on the beach with my bros
We got a six pack of Coors and we're gonna bang some hos
I've got the weekend off of school
Time to smoke some ganj, make casettes full of good tunes
My favorites from LFO and Sublime too
This weekend's gonna be tight
And it's like we're living in my most favorite Sugar Ray song
Gonna go to the beach and look at some chick's thongs
Mitch's folks have satellite let's go watch some MTV
Drink a bunch of brewskies go to the mall and go shopping
I hope Spencer's still has that black light Bob Marley poster
And after we're all done we'll go to the beach and have some fun
Ask Brad's mom if she can make another beer run
I'm so glad I have my dad's credit card
Hey now I'm a rock star
Come visit me in my cabin by the sea
Something something burning lots of trees
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6. |
MMFWCL.wav
02:55
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Give me some faygo man
I wanna be a juggalo
I can't say no to awesome white trash titties
I want to run away and join the dark carnival
And wear facepaint everyday, don't give a fuck about what you say
Fuck you mom
Fuck you dad
Fuck you friends and all those awesome times we had
Fuck you work
You're all a bunch of bitches
This is my new goddamn family and you better respect that
I'LL SHOVE UP A HATCHET UP YOUR ASS
I don't care what you say
I wanna chill with Violent J
And also smoke meth everyday
I'm taking my life back
You can't have this
Even if you want it
You can't have my juggadick
It's only for down-ass los and lettes
I'll see you at the Gathering
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7. |
Battlefield Earth
02:30
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So I'm in my 40's and I have a ton of money
Like more than I need to survive
And I guess I'm still relevant but I don't even know but I need to pay my tithe
And I don't know if my career can take anymore after Michael but I don't even care
L Ron, be my guide, come into my life tonight
And the whole world can hate it but if they do they can blow me I guess
Maybe Xenu'd be upset but whatever man
I'm making a thing that I truly believe in for the first time in my life
So go screw off, L Ron, come into my life
L Ron, L Ron, come into me tonight
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8. |
Let's Go Away
02:30
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