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MACHO POSTURING

by Rex Nabours III

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blæke i'm guilmon and i approve of this album Favorite track: Battlefield Earth.
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1.
You can crack an egg and leave it uncooked in the pan but don't tell me it's an omelette You can give me $50 in ones with some pocket lint but don't tell me it's my whole paycheck You can take some sugar and put it in a bag and sell it to an underage punk kid but don't tell me it was coke We can add some shitty solos and look up words in a thesaurus but don't tell me that's how good songs work
2.
I had a dream last night Where Battle Arena Toshinden was a 3DO exclusive I had a dream just last night Where I had bottomless pockets and moneyhatted Resident Evil 1 as a 3DO Exclusive I had a dream last night Where the M2 actually came out the launch titles were as followed D2, that F1 game, Clay Fighter, Policenauts dubbed in English and Mortal Kombat Trilogy Some stuff just aren't meant to be No matter how much money you have to throw at things And eventually we all have to give up and take our leave And go off to chase some other dreams I had a dream last night Where Doctor Hauzer 2 was totally a thing Guardian War became a franchise and Naughty Dog wound up making Way of the Warrior sequels forever
3.
There's vomit on my pants and I don't want to be here I don't fit in And I'll never fucking fit in And I don't really care I never wanted to be a rock star Because they're all fucking cocks and I don't care, I don't care Don't want a selfie with a bored-looking crowd to circlejerk myself Or brag about opening for some washed up nu metal group Someone stab me if I write sociopathic love songs to try and pick up girls Fu-uu-uu-uu-uuuck everything What happened to having fun and being entertaining to other people Instead of being a piss-poor souless version of things that've happened already? Your band is to your favorite band what My Immortal is to Harry Potter Somedays I wake up and wish I hadn't woke up I have to go on stage now and they really want me sober Why in the fuck would they get an act like me to play Spring Break It's more fun to yell ridiculous shit with an acoustic guitar And I know it'll never get me far But I don't fucking care at all Gross gross gross gross gross I'm hungover, having a gallbladder attack, and want to go home
4.
Moeblob bullshit Voice acting that sounds like it was read from the page And bad dubtitles Please buy 3 episodes on one DVD for $40 It's a bargain This plot will go nowhere And there will not be an ending The animators ran out of money and got lazy in the 2nd half of the series And we're being forced to put this out by the Japanese licensor Because they packaged this and Schoolgirl Milky Crisis together
5.
Hanging on the beach with my bros We got a six pack of Coors and we're gonna bang some hos I've got the weekend off of school Time to smoke some ganj, make casettes full of good tunes My favorites from LFO and Sublime too This weekend's gonna be tight And it's like we're living in my most favorite Sugar Ray song Gonna go to the beach and look at some chick's thongs Mitch's folks have satellite let's go watch some MTV Drink a bunch of brewskies go to the mall and go shopping I hope Spencer's still has that black light Bob Marley poster And after we're all done we'll go to the beach and have some fun Ask Brad's mom if she can make another beer run I'm so glad I have my dad's credit card Hey now I'm a rock star Come visit me in my cabin by the sea Something something burning lots of trees
6.
MMFWCL.wav 02:55
Give me some faygo man I wanna be a juggalo I can't say no to awesome white trash titties I want to run away and join the dark carnival And wear facepaint everyday, don't give a fuck about what you say Fuck you mom Fuck you dad Fuck you friends and all those awesome times we had Fuck you work You're all a bunch of bitches This is my new goddamn family and you better respect that I'LL SHOVE UP A HATCHET UP YOUR ASS I don't care what you say I wanna chill with Violent J And also smoke meth everyday I'm taking my life back You can't have this Even if you want it You can't have my juggadick It's only for down-ass los and lettes I'll see you at the Gathering
7.
So I'm in my 40's and I have a ton of money Like more than I need to survive And I guess I'm still relevant but I don't even know but I need to pay my tithe And I don't know if my career can take anymore after Michael but I don't even care L Ron, be my guide, come into my life tonight And the whole world can hate it but if they do they can blow me I guess Maybe Xenu'd be upset but whatever man I'm making a thing that I truly believe in for the first time in my life So go screw off, L Ron, come into my life L Ron, L Ron, come into me tonight
8.

about

"No matter what happens next, don't be too hard on yourself. Even now, after all you've done, you can still go home. Lucky you."
-John Konrad, Spec Ops: The Line

credits

released July 3, 2014

All songs written and performed by Rex Nabours III except "Let's Go Away" which was written by Takenobu Mitsuyoshi.

Cover photo by Ryan Cayari. Bonus desktop wallpaper designed by Jesus Garza.

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Rex Nabours III Houston, Texas

BORING.

I USED TO GO BY GUWANGE.

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